how to cook humans

Dont be alarmed about anything missing from the site; its by design.

So I get bored in the bathroom and read labels sometimes, and I couldnt help but notice that my toothpaste comes with a lot of instructions. Theres the usual stuff about not eating it, but then theres this:

Products containing stannous fluoride may produce surface staining of the teeth

Oh, that doesnt sound good, especially since its supposed to be a whitening toothpaste. But then I read a little further and realized there was more:

Adequate toothbrushing may prevent these stains which are not harmful or permanent and may be removed by your dentist

Now I feel like they got me all worked up for nothing. But they didnt even stop at that, because there was yet another line of text:

This [product name] is specially formulated to help prevent staining

Well why even mention the staining to begin with? It ends up feeling like theyve yanked my chain around, and if I had stopped reading after the first sentence I probably wouldve chucked the tube out of the window. The only conclusion I can reach as to why they would create these three fear-mongering bullet points is that the tube had some extra space and they didnt think a textless area would look professional enough. Legit products are always fully-encapsulated by fine print, after all.


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