1.7321

One of the best parts of "Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay" is a poem Kumar wrote in college. It's so painfully nerdy but, like a train wreck, once it gets going you can't really look away. It was actually written in real-life by a guy named David Feinberg, and though I feel bad reciting one of the few "funny" parts of that movie, I hereby present it to you...The Square Root of Three:

I'm sure that I will always be A lonely number like root three The three is all that's good and right, Why must my three keep out of sight Beneath the vicious square root sign, I wish instead I were a nine For nine could thwart this evil trick, With just some quick arithmetic I know I'll never see the sun, as 1.7321 Such is my reality, a sad irrationality When hark! What is this I see, Another square root of a three Has quietly come waltzing by, Together now we multiply To form a number we prefer, Rejoicing as an integer We break free from our mortal bonds With the wave of magic wands Our square root signs become unglued Your love for me has been renewed

Terrible. Just terrible. And yet, if you like math or love, there's something in it for you. Or if you just like creative rhyming. Don't forget my take on math.