Any man would love to have a helper monkey. I know that seems obvious, but I want something a bit more specific a simple grooming monkey. Some days I come in from the great outdoors, sweaty, bloody, and eager for a small hairy creature to remove the assorted vegetation and parasitic organisms from my external surfaces. Hed be practical and entertaining, bouncing around gleefully while picking off ticks and scrounging through my mangled hair. He wouldnt work for free, so Id need to groom him as well, but itd be worth it. After all, if you give a little monkey grooming, you get a little monkey grooming in return. It wouldnt be long before I could de-specialize my monkey and extend him to other tasks, such as retrieving items and warding off unwanted neighborsbut Ill start with the grooming and take it from there.

And he could clean bathrooms on the side.